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Jun. 17th, 2015 01:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
i was thinking about it last night like, I guess i don't want V to get off the hook. He's done rlly well in becoming a better person, to some extent, but a lot of that is also only b/c he deals with nothing from his past. It's uncomfortable on so many scales so he just, doesn't care to think about it and think about both how bad it really was and how bad it made him become.
V's of the mental type where his struggles serve only to like, ennoble him. He walks through fire and refuses to get burned and comes out more holy than other people.
& for years it was easy to see from his perspective, I could relate the best that way. So it was fine to let himself see himself that way.
but i guess now I can see Raz' perspective a lot better, and relate on that scale.
For Raz, he's suffered a lot of external blows that only serve to feed into his own negative self-image. He's shit so he's treated like shit so he must be shit. He knows he fucked up a lot, but feels really more broken by other people. He's not much more responsible for his own part, but he recognizes it (mostly b/c he has such a negative internal view of himself), which is more than can be said for V. Raz ignored a lot of things for years, because it was better to be in an insufferable loop of misery and despair. But now he's kinda more able to look at his past and say "That was wrong and it wasn't my fault." So he's processing his fucked up life and trauma more.
V's of the mental type where his struggles serve only to like, ennoble him. He walks through fire and refuses to get burned and comes out more holy than other people.
& for years it was easy to see from his perspective, I could relate the best that way. So it was fine to let himself see himself that way.
but i guess now I can see Raz' perspective a lot better, and relate on that scale.
For Raz, he's suffered a lot of external blows that only serve to feed into his own negative self-image. He's shit so he's treated like shit so he must be shit. He knows he fucked up a lot, but feels really more broken by other people. He's not much more responsible for his own part, but he recognizes it (mostly b/c he has such a negative internal view of himself), which is more than can be said for V. Raz ignored a lot of things for years, because it was better to be in an insufferable loop of misery and despair. But now he's kinda more able to look at his past and say "That was wrong and it wasn't my fault." So he's processing his fucked up life and trauma more.